Alright, so I know you're all thinking- OMG we just came out of Halloween, Ms. L!  What on earth are you doing?!

Well too bad, it's my journal and I feel like getting into Christmas a bit early.  Well actually, I started to make my changes and then realized I should probably do a Thanksgiving theme for all my fellow Americans first. 

But I'm entirely too lazy to change it all now, so early Christmas it is.

Tonight my family went trick-or-treating.  I stayed behind to answer the door for the little hooligans that come around my door, as I have done for the last three years.  Which, interestingly enough, are the years when all the really good candy is given out in copious amounts. 

My neighbors never liked me.

Anyway!  It has been my tradition for the past three years, to dress up like a nun and have a lot of fun messing with the children that come to my door.  Nothing mean-spirited, mind you- as I really don't find any pleasure in that sort of thing... just generally healthy, intellectual mind games. 

Now I honestly couldn't tell you where I got the idea to don a habit in the first place... but the costume itself is entirely homemade, and I have to admit- it's more than convincing.  The first year I did it, many of the parents of kids actually took me for a real sister, and asked me all sorts of interesting religious questions. 

A better person would have smiled kindly and thanked them for the flattery before explaining that the entire outfit is just a costume for the spirit of Halloween.

Me?  I answered their questions.  And handed out religious bookmarks.

(tell them the rest, Jess.)

Ok... I also blessed them.

(and?)

and their families.

(is that all?)

Uh-huh.

(LIAR!)

FINE!  I also, sort of... *mutters incoherently*

(I'm sorry?  I didn't hear you.)

I said that I kind of, uh, *muttering again, a little louder*

(You're going to have to speak up.)

*Yelling*  I read random psalms from the Bible!  Geez, are you happy?

(Delighted.)

Having a conscience can seriously suck, believe me.

 Ok so it's true.  I did go a little overboard with the piety... but it's only once a year, and people need a dose of religion now and again- even if it has to be bestowed upon an unwilling party, right?! 

Right?

Well anyway- that was the first year... the second year was also like that.  But this year?  Well this year I feel like I joined the convent for nothing!  I think maybe 4 kids came to the door throughout the duration of the night.  It was insulting. 

And one kid came to my door only to ask for directions to get to the street behind mine!! 

"Here, kid- have a piece of candy anyway, it's Halloween."  I hold the bucket out for him, the sugary confections just waiting to be claimed and sampled.

He looks into the candy bucket for a moment, his mood pensive.  Then he looks at me.

"Uh, no thanks."  What in hell?  It's Halloween- kids don't pass up free candy on Halloween!!  You'd think I was handing out leprosy, for crying out loud!

But I don't let things go, as you may have learned by now.

"What's wrong with it?" Instinctively I shake the bucket, looking for anything unusual about the state of contents.  I see nothing.

"Tootsie Pops suck."  He starts to walk away, but now I'm mad.  I step outside, closing the door behind me, and grab him by the hood of his wizard costume.  I think I have failed to mention, that when playing this role on Halloween, I tend to use an Irish brogue... I think an Irish nun is a happy nun.  She's also a stereotypical nun that adds to the character, but I digress.

"Just a minute, young man."  In actuality, this kid is probably no younger than I am.  Gosh I love authority! 

"Have you no respect for the decency of people?  I didn't have to offer you anything at all, son.  In fact, I shouldn't have.  But out of the goodness of my heart, and my unfailing love of our God, I offer you a small repast to keep you in good stead throughout your journey, and you turn me down?!"

Oooh yeah... I get carried away.  He looks at me, stunned.  I don't know if he was more shocked at the over-the-topness of my speech or at the fact that I was still grabbing at his outfit.  It didn't matter, really.

"Fine, I'll take the stupid candy."  I let him go, and turn, opening the door.

"Well now I don't feel like offering it.  But may God bless you, you little snot."  I shut the door, leaving him there- flabbergasted.

 Halloween is just so fun!

Some of these kids get really nasty nowadays, though.  One little girl came to the door wearing a large tent of some kind, and when I bent down to her level, extending the candy for her to take what she wanted, I kindly asked:

"And what are you this Halloween?"  I smile... she frowns.

"I'm a cheerleader, duh." She also rolls her eyes. 

How could I not have known??  After all, that huge burlap sack was a dead giveaway.  I really am a moron.

only 54 more shopping days until Christmas,
  

You crack me up Love the new layout as well

wow, you did have a funfilled halloween..hehehe. A nun with an attitude, lol, j/k. I should have gone to ur house and knock on the door..trick or treat? I'll take any candies..tsk tsk tsk, kids today are just so picky..have a good week